You must learn to earn...

Earlier Jamai Shoshti used to work differently. It used to be a kind of bribe given to Jamais by their in-laws for keeping their daughters happy. Today you don't get it unless you earn it! It's that simple and that difficult...

Sample this. A conversation between the Jamai who hasn't been good, meaning no brownie points for him, and the not so happy shashuri:

At the dinning table:
Jamai: Ma ar ektu dal deben
Shashuri: (angry mukh jhamta) Ar dal hobena, barir onyerao to khabe na ki!
Jamai: Ma ar ekta bati dile macher kanta gulo pheltam ar ki...
Shashuri: (angrier)Kajer lok chuti te gechey... ke majbe eto bashon?
Jamai: Ma ar ekta potoler dorma nebo!
Shashuri: (now livid) Hain tahole jao ge potol tule ano!
Jamai: Ar ektu mangsho hobe ki?
Shashuri: (irritated) Dam jano je maghsho chaicho?
Jamai: Bah besh khelam ebar pan ta?
Sheshuri: (sarcastic) seki tomar pan dosh achey? agge janle meyer shonge biyei ditam na...
khawa hole bashon meje okhane rekhey debe ar notun panjabi ta khule bhanj kore rekhey jabe... ar misti, phol ja diyechi ogulo dite hoy bole dilam, ogulo tomar prapyo noy, tai fridge e tule debe...

This could be the fate of all the jamais... who were not obedient, not giving enough with their credit cards, didn't get a raise or a promotion... didn't buy their wives that piece of jewellery or didn't take her on a much desired holiday... so to all my guy friends who are married... learn to earn the treat and gifts for Jamai Shoshti, otherwise.... your day might not turn out the way you imagined it in your head! You could say good bye to second helpings, sumptuous food and any respect given to you for that matter! Coz in this world nothing comes for free... So to earn the platter learn to flatter your shashuri and your wife all year long...!

the confession of an AD-dict

Advertising is a strange profession. It both exhilarates and annihilates. It's a love that can almost destroy you emotionally and alienate you from society. It pumps you to the top, it hurls you to the bottom. It's an addiction which you can't be cured off, which you don't even know if it's good for your system. It's a high. it's a kick. it's a drug more potent that anything else. It's not a profession, its a culture, it's not a job, it's a way of life... if you are in advertising, you'll see the world in a whole new angle. And you'll laugh at it but alone, 'coz the world will not get your point. The tension when the idea doesn't happen to you, the uncertainty of the apple that might or might not drop on your head. The sudden rush when the idea hits you, when the film just unfolds in your minds eye and you happily type it out, is just unparalleled. Nothing can replace it. It's your love for this art that keeps you almost tied to it even while you are on a holiday, at home, or even at a wedding. It's honestly so overpowering that you seem to leave everything behind for it. I wonder if all of it is a madness at times, and often feel guilty for giving it my all... but i can't seem to resist it. I have surrendered to it heart and soul, and my goofy grin says it all! So am on this ad-venture like Ulysses and do not know where it will take me... but i shall ride the waves, and grab the star dust, and hear the mermaid sing... for it is like the journey of a lifetime.

waste not want not

Our generation doesn't waste time anymore! But i somehow cannot decide whether that's good or bad? For instance on the potty seat most people talk or text, and it's not just me, i keep hearing from behind the partition in office loo, people texting away to glory! So while you wait for the poo to drop why not utilise the time? Before i fall asleep, i mean i am on the brink of nodding off, am barely conscious, i am possessed by the need to play a quick game on my Itouch... which i do! Then again, i multitask like a lunatic, i face book, i work, i chat, i talk on the phone all together, without any qualms. I can't just watch TV i also need to do something along with it, just like a side dish with main course! 90% people watch TV while eating... which i am guilty of too! Today it's a normal sight for people talk on phone while driving or being driven, nobody does one thing at one time anymore! Lack of patience, desire to achieve a lot more at one go? I don't know what to call it. I think we are racing against time to conquer it. I think that's what man wanted from the start, 'coz it was that one thing that man couldn't master. And that's why i guess we are trying to make every minute count.

size does matter

i have tried to bribe my weighing scale many times into showing me just the figure i want. but to no avail. going into apparel stores have become shameful, trying to fit into a double seater rickshaw is equally detrimental to self esteem. Many time i have just about thrown the other person travelling with me, off. Going to social gatherings are the worst. No one greets me with hi, hello and other pleasantries. They just shriek with mortification. I always thought... ok am fat, but am not thaaaaat fat. there is a difference. But all differences now become one with my waistline.

The thought of a gym makes me wanna crawl into a dark corner, the idea of morning walks make me sleepy, the mention of a diet... triggers a zillion cravings inside. I have given the word 'lardli' a new meaning. you know lard...as in fat?

i feel helpless in front of flurys or cookie jar, i would give them my purse as an offering in return of all the delightful pastries and other goodies they give me in return. and when guilt strikes i keep trying every other diet in the world only to increase my appetite... after breaking a zillion weight loss resolutions am a little miffed about the entire charade.

am angry at all those apparel stores who don't keep xl and xxl as sizes ( as if they expect the whole world to sport hour-glass figures) am furious with all those men who have made it mandatory for a woman to be of a certain acceptable size... i particularly loath people who make it a point to rub it in! I want to rally against all movies and tv serials who show perfect women, in their perfect make up with their perfect clothes in their perfect bodies. Life isn't this... i detest them for this mass brain wash... for controlling our lives and making us abide by a certain norm. Who set these standards anyways...

yes being healthy is important, who doesn't want to be, but your metabolism is not in your hands. some people are genetically blessed with slim structures some are not... what is the entire big deal about this? why doesn't anyone look inside.. why is it always about the exterior....

so i tell you my deprived, anorexic, starving, driven out of their minds, depressed, in denial... fellow obese women... size does matter... but the size of your hot dog! \m/ So enjoy and you are beautiful let no one tell you otherwise!

you can beat the heat but not the memories

while the sultry summers set in... while the sweat trickles down the neck... while the sunglasses of various shapes and sizes make their way... i just want my dark ac room, a chilled glass of juice and my paperback. the past few days I've developed an aversion to work and all that i want to do...is either travel to the hills despite the fact that am broke or you know just draw the curtains and read. it's my way of beating the heat? who knows... i just can't help remembering my childhood summer holidays, when i used to just wile away my afternoons and be so glad about life! suck on a spoonful of tamarind pickle and watch the various cartoons and afternoon shows on TV like street hawk, Disney world, some soap on battling computer viruses. i used to watch them avidly... my other time pass was playing pranks on my family, my grandparents would be the unsuspecting victims of my various atyachaar. we have a huge house with interesting nooks and corners to just lose oneself in... each parapet, each window sill, each veranda has so many memories. afternoons were also a time when i used to write my lengthy letters to friends who just stayed across the street. i miss the famous fives, the hardy boys, the nancy drews... and later all the classics, novels, bestsellers... i miss everything... i miss the ice cream wala calling out from the street... i miss rushing down the stairs to grab an ice-lolly. i miss those long winding phone conversations and day dreaming about some guy i developed a short interest over.

Now its just the keyboard, shit load of work, meetings, deadlines, ideas, brainstorming, copy, art, copy, more copy, proof... gawd.... i wish somebody could return those afternoons to me. those stories told by my granddad, those plays on radio... the taste of watermelon juice frozen in ice-cube trays... i guess the taste of the summers gone by will stay with me forever and lighten my load as i plough through another grown-up summer.