let my country awake

It doesn't take an Independence Day to remind you how much you love your country. every time i hear a patriotic tune my eyes go moist. in a multiplex when we rise for the national anthem i feel my vision blurr. when in 'Roja' the hero puts out the flaming Indian flag by rolling over it, i cried like a baby. the lilting notes of 'bande mataram' melt my heart till date. The shehnai in 'swades' makes me weep for my country deep inside.

this Independence Day as i lay in my couch wondering about life (my fave pass time) i realised i have hardly done a thing for my country except living off her everyday. i am safe today because of her. i have clothes, shelter and as a woman i enjoy every freedom. yet i curse the roads, the political situation, the corruption and say its going to the dogs.

today i feel apologetic for all that i have said because after a bit of soul searching i know for sure that i haven't meant any of it. i love my country so completely and dearly and this sense of patriotic pride is so deep seated in me that i never want to live anywhere else i guess. i too long to see the world, long to travel far and wide but my land, my country is a place so special that no job, no opportunity, no amount of greed seems bigger than my country. Her history fills me with pride, her struggles make me cry, her future is mine too.

as India evolves today our destinies remain entwined forever. like a child never finds a better place than her mother's lap, i too find peace in this land. with its congested cities, traffic jams, pollution, bribe-taking-police, forever dug-up roads, continual protests at the drop of a hat, parasitic politicians and little things made difficult, i accept her for who she is, as i too am a part of her. if we can't change, how will she? if we keep blaming one another we will never get out of our third world mode and more people will leave her and settle abroad serving other countries but not their mother-land. all of us feel what can i a significant being do? can we not plant trees? not litter the streets? follow traffic rules? don't give or take bribes? pay taxes? help one another? support a cause? these little things lead to a revolution. to bring about one you don't need to parade the roads and go on hunger strike. as actions speak better than words, if each of us contribute a wee little bit, we will make our nation a much better place. remember you can leave India but the India within you will never leave you.

i feel the tricolour smeared allover me, my soul is dipped in it. it runs in my veins and makes me want to make a difference. i want to wake up in the India of my dreams. don't you?

The terror called maid-servant

our very existence depends on our household helps! i have realised this long back. we are really at their mercy, one day they don't turn up, all hell breaks loose. we resort to home deliveries and end up with heaps of unwashed clothes, piles of dirty dishes in the sink etc etc. At least my house looks like its having a really rough time when my maid takes an off or doesn't show up.

i admit here (just like the 'Sach Ka Samna' contestants) that am absolutely no good as a householder. The roles of the ideal wife/daughter-in-law continue to elude me. I can't even move my ass to get a glass of water. Thanks to my obesity, constant exhaustion, stressful life I've turned into a good for nothing married woman who is completely incapable of managing her own home.

Shame-faced as i was pottering around my house early this morning trying to put together a low-fat tiffin for lunch, she threateningly asked me why she has not been given her salary and it's the 4th of the month already, i make excuses mustering enough courage. As she left slamming the door uttering a sarcastic remark and as my home shook with the after effects i thought to myself that does she almost run my life now? she is in charge of everything and am just a submissive by stander. I always 'request' her to do work that i pay her for, sometimes I'm so scared i clean the bathroom myself, lest she get angry, lest she abandons us, so on so forth and wonder are we all afraid of our maid servants?

I keep thinking 'Mimi be a man er correction woman!! stand up against this oppression!' but then i look down at my obese body and it gets the better of me...aaahhh what's the bloody point anyway....and sink back into lethargy. i have better things to worry about and as my mind does permutation combination with her body and Hitler/Stalin/Napoleon's heads i quietly chuckle and close the door after her.

A lone

when we are young we are desperate to grow older and enjoy the liberties that come with age. but as we grow old don't we lose way too many things?? for instance the freedom of childhood are ones you can never replace, for eg, boy kid-girl kid same bathroom, a boy pecking you on your cheeks in prep school everyday, the nonchalance about earning a livelihood or exam pressure and most importantly so many friends who you would meet everyday.

as we grow older, do we become more lonely with time? with age, with the ups n downs of life we are everyday a little more alienated from others. lunch groups dwindle, shopping buddies drift apart, cafe groups disintegrate, childhood friends go long distant, its just loss, loss n loss n more loss. we gain experience none the less from all this.

with emails, mobiles, every other modern communication device at our disposal we have lesser people to call or contact. with better jobs, better pay packages we have lesser time to have fun or lesser people to go out with. in search of a better career we don't think twice but leave behind everything and leave for a foreign land. in this wide world why do we do with full consciousness, every possible thing that makes us more lonely?