size does matter

i have tried to bribe my weighing scale many times into showing me just the figure i want. but to no avail. going into apparel stores have become shameful, trying to fit into a double seater rickshaw is equally detrimental to self esteem. Many time i have just about thrown the other person travelling with me, off. Going to social gatherings are the worst. No one greets me with hi, hello and other pleasantries. They just shriek with mortification. I always thought... ok am fat, but am not thaaaaat fat. there is a difference. But all differences now become one with my waistline.

The thought of a gym makes me wanna crawl into a dark corner, the idea of morning walks make me sleepy, the mention of a diet... triggers a zillion cravings inside. I have given the word 'lardli' a new meaning. you know lard...as in fat?

i feel helpless in front of flurys or cookie jar, i would give them my purse as an offering in return of all the delightful pastries and other goodies they give me in return. and when guilt strikes i keep trying every other diet in the world only to increase my appetite... after breaking a zillion weight loss resolutions am a little miffed about the entire charade.

am angry at all those apparel stores who don't keep xl and xxl as sizes ( as if they expect the whole world to sport hour-glass figures) am furious with all those men who have made it mandatory for a woman to be of a certain acceptable size... i particularly loath people who make it a point to rub it in! I want to rally against all movies and tv serials who show perfect women, in their perfect make up with their perfect clothes in their perfect bodies. Life isn't this... i detest them for this mass brain wash... for controlling our lives and making us abide by a certain norm. Who set these standards anyways...

yes being healthy is important, who doesn't want to be, but your metabolism is not in your hands. some people are genetically blessed with slim structures some are not... what is the entire big deal about this? why doesn't anyone look inside.. why is it always about the exterior....

so i tell you my deprived, anorexic, starving, driven out of their minds, depressed, in denial... fellow obese women... size does matter... but the size of your hot dog! \m/ So enjoy and you are beautiful let no one tell you otherwise!